Its All The Same If Everybody Leaves Her
by angel-of-music2495
Summary: Update: Spoilers for the Summer Finale. Eventual Rizzles, but its going to take a while. Maura tries her best to deal with her feelings for her best friend, but what happens when friendship isn't enough. "I mean, I don't know if I'd die for you, but I, I'd come damn close." T for language. Playlist on under the same name. Link on profile.
1. Beautiful Disaster

A/N: I don't know where to begin. There are a lot of things I could say about this fic/story/creation but instead I'm just going to ask you to be patient. The Rizzles will come, I guarantee it. For now, I hope you'll join me on this little adventure. Very well, Allons-y.

If you're going to listen to anything whilst reading this, search the chapter title on your music player (YouTube, Spotify, iTunes, etc).

Oh, and a Happy Birthday to our very own Maura Isles!

Disclaimer: The respective producers and owners of Rizzoli and Isles, Criminal Minds, and the songs own all of the characters and some of the quotes. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

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**Beautiful Disaster - Jon McLaughlin**

"_I mean, I don't know if I'd die for you, but I, I'd come damn close."_

The yoga room was the only place she could think straight. Curled up into Child's Pose, Maura let her mask drop. Jane's hospital admission had gotten through barriers she had built for this exact reason. For years, Maura had blocked her feelings for Jane, hiding every thought, masking every secret smile.

If she hadn't been lying to herself, she would've gone vasovagal years ago.

But that was her one exception. Lying to herself was the only way she could protect herself. It was like the moment that she told Jane that Ian was the love of her life. At one point, she did love Ian, but the love of her life was someone a lot closer.

Maura took a deep breath in and extended her arms out in front of her. Exhaling, she pulls herself up into a downward dog. Grimacing at the pain in her lower back, Maura closed her eyes. The young girl's chant echoed in her brain. They never wanted anything to happen to that teacher, but the wanted justice for their friend. His death was an unfortunate accident, or a fortunate one, if you think about it. He was a predator, who preyed on young, smart women.

"Stop justifying Maura," the doctor whispered to her empty house. At three am, Maura's house felt even bigger and emptier than it did usually. Angela was probably fast asleep in the guesthouse. Bass had settled in for the night. All that was left was one lonely doctor doing yoga in the middle of the night.

Jane was the only one who could quiet the chatter of her monkey mind. With Jane, Maura could blurt out factoids without the fear of being left alone. But Jane was probably either sleeping or talking with her long distance lover. It wasn't a compliment when she commented on the current temperature of their relationship. The fact that it heated up as soon as he boarded the plane to Afghanistan almost made Maura wish he were back in Boston.

That way Jane could see that domesticity was not a bad thing, at least not with the right person. With the only person she trusted with her PTSD. With the only person whom she really listened to.

Falling back into a child's pose, Maura choked back a sob. The fact that everyone saw the chemistry between the two of them made her unbearably sad. Only because she knew that Jane was a great detective. And great detectives don't miss things that everyone sees.

Back in the hospital, there was a moment where Maura almost allowed herself to hope. Jane telling her that she would come close to death for her gave her just an ounce of hope, just enough to get her home. Sighing, Maura abandoned her yoga regimen. Wandering down the hall into the kitchen, Maura made herself a strong cup of tea.

Taking her tea, Maura went to the couch and flipped the television on. She set about flipping through her recorded documentaries. While she was looking through the nature studies and live medical procedures on her on-demand, her mind registered the show in the background.

"_Bad news slows us down for a while and then we move on, hope is paralyzing."_

"You got that right," Maura sighed, clicking off her television. Setting an alarm on her phone, Maura lay back on her couch and considered her reality. Grabbing a pen and pad from the coffee table, she thought about the things she knew to be facts.

**1. Jane is straight and in love with Casey.**

**2. Even if by some miracle she wasn't, Raphael would be more than happy to take his place.**

**3. I only seem to attract serial killers, assholes, and con men.**

**4. The only time I feel remotely safe is when I'm with Jane.**

**5. One day, Jane will leave me too.**

**6. I hate Casey and Martinez with a burning passion.**

**7. Jane is the only stable relationship I've ever had.**

**8. Jane deserves happiness.**

**9. She can't be happy with me, and I can't be happy without her.**

**10. I'm in love with Jane, and I'm going to die alone.**

Throwing the pen onto the floor, Maura folded her impromptu list into a small square and tucked it safely into her pajama shirt pocket. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Maura grabbed a pillow from the other side of the couch. Curling herself into a ball she wrapped herself in the scent of lavender, and cried herself into a dreamless sleep.

"_Me too."_


	2. Mr Right

A/N: Hello again fabulous people! I was so excited to read your reviews, they really helped me get this out.

Okay, warning time. Jane may seem a bit self deprecating in this chapter, but don't fret, all will be explained in good time.

Also remember the titles aren't just there for decoration.

Disclaimer: The owners and producer of Rizzoli and Isles, and the songs used own all the characters and some of the quotes. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

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**Mr. Right - A Rocket to the Moon**

"_Well, I just find it interesting that your relationship with Casey heated up the second he got on the plane to Afghanistan."_

Vacuuming was not a fun activity for Jane. It was a way to dispel the stress from her mind. Maura had her fancy yoga studio and Jane had a vacuum. During particularly difficult cases, her apartment was often close to immaculate.

So the tension in her muscles and whirling in her brain was a very familiar sensation. For some reason, she couldn't help but run through her conversation with Maura, the one about Casey.

As always, the medical examiner was right. Her relationship with Casey is absolutely great, so long as he isn't around. When he started to become domestic, Jane did the only thing she felt comfortable with, she ran to Maura.

On that note, when had she become so comfortable with Maura? When had their friendship gone past the accepted barriers? And why, at three am, was she still up vacuuming and agonizing over her best friend?

"Because you're in love with her," Jane muttered to herself.

Turning off her vacuum, she put on her training gloves and went to work on her training dummy. When she first met Maura, she thought the new medical examiner wouldn't last a week. She seemed like an over-dressed, pretentious, nerd. But as Jane got to know her, she became less socially awkward and she didn't seem so pretentious. She was still over-dressed, and always had a fact ready, but slowly but surely, the nosy medical examiner had wormed her way into Jane's life.

"Stop it Jane, she's not interested," Jane repeated in a hypnotic mantra. She kept beating the dummy until she saw the trail of blood drip down from her hands. Ripping the gloves from her hands, her mind barely registered the pain of her split knuckles.

She ran her hands under cold water, and then dried then off with a clean dishtowel. As she treated her battered hands, Jane's mind wandered again to the doctor. Maura was always pushing her towards random guys, and she commented openly on the forms of men she was attracted to. If Jane heard one more comment about Raphael's body, she was going to hurl herself off of something.

Maura was as straight as they come.

But somehow, Jane held out on an ounce of hope, and that was what was destroying her. Somehow, her little coded messages were no longer enough to get her through. For years she had been saying things that couldn't possibly be misconstrued as anything more.

"_**I would do it for you though."**_

"_**Most I'd get is a year in jail. Maura's looking at life."**_

"_**I wouldn't leave her."**_

"_**I mean, I don't know if I'd die for you, but I, I'd come damn close."**_

"Who am trying to fool," Jane asked her empty condo. "She knows, and just doesn't want to say anything." Glancing down at her newly bandaged hands, Jane sighed and dropped herself onto her couch. "She could never feel the same way. Who am I kidding? Even if she was into women, I don't deserve her. I'm too damaged. Hell, I can't even go for a run without breaking something."

Throwing her face into a pillow, Jane was ecstatic to find that it still smelled like the doctor, and not like her senseless little brother. Glancing at the clock, Jane quietly got up from her place on the couch. Taking the pillow into her bedroom, Jane kicked off her shoes and lay back into the sheets.

Staring up at the ceiling, Jane flashed through her mental photographs. Long ago, memories of Maura had taken residence in her album. Whenever she closed her eyes, all she saw was snapshots in time of Maura smiling. And laughing. And dancing around the morgue when she thought no one was watching. And doing an autopsy in her black scrubs. And tucking her hair behind her ear as she bent over to observe a body at a crime scene. And that thoughtful look she gets whenever something catches her interest.

"Alright enough," Jane yelled, cutting off the mental Rolodex. Jane curled herself around the pillow from the couch and fell to sleep on her side of the bed. The thought that Maura already had a side just added fuel to the fire of her dreams.

As she slept, visions of her future flashed in her mind. And for once, Jane didn't question why Casey wasn't in them.


	3. America's Sweethearts

A/N Hello there! Glad to see you're back. Or if you're new, welcome. Anyway, all of the standard warnings apply, however be advised that Maura and Jane are trying to adjust themselves to avoid heartache. I'll tell you now, in the next few chapters, its going to get really bad really fast. If you're here for fluff, run far away. With that said, Geronimo.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the situation and most of the dialogue.

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**America's Sweethearts - Fall Out Boy**

"_See, I told you she listens to you."_

When Yo-Yo Ma's "Appalachian Journey" woke Maura a few hours later, the only thing she wanted was coffee and a hot shower. Sitting up from the couch, the doctor took in her immediate surroundings. The art was well placed, and the colors all accented the room beautifully. The house was spacious, however Maura felt an overwhelming sense of dread. She looked around and listened to the silence invading her home. The lack of life was paralyzing. She was drowning in her own solitude.

Maura felt a desperate need to be anywhere but in the main areas of her house. Walking to her newly converted yoga studio, Maura took off her pajamas, folded them, and placed them carefully on the shelf. Grabbing some exercise clothes, Maura went into the studio.

Sticking to a pattern helped clear the overwhelming sadness from her mind. By the time she relaxed into shavasana, Maura was functioning normally. Her paranoid thoughts were banished to the back of her mind, and she remembered that she had to pick up Jane.

Pulling out her phone, Maura smiled at her background. On one of their coffee meetings, Cailin had taught her about a type of picture called a "selfie" While Maura still didn't get the concept entirely, Jane was more than happy to help her practice. They had taken over fifty pictures, but most of them were too blurry to use. However one of the pictures that Jane captured quickly became her favorite. Jane was smiling and Maura was looking up at her, awe in her eyes. In that moment, the medical examiner could see them together.

Shaking her head and sighing, Maura speed dialed the detective.

"Rizzoli," a groggy voice answered from the other side.

"Jane, I'll be over in an hour to pick you up," Maura stated cheerily.

"Ugh, Maur, You couldn't have let me sleep for another forty-five minutes," Jane questioned in aggravation.

"No Detective, because you have a bad track record for mornings and I cannot be late today," Maura answered.

"Really? Fine, I'm awake."

Maura smiled at Jane's early morning irritation. "If you're ready and outside when I get there, we can stop at Boston Joe's for coffee."

"Promises, promises."

"Goodbye Jane."

"See you soon Maur."

Maura hung up her phone and smiled. Detective Rizzoli in the morning was by far the most dangerous and adorable thing she had ever encountered. Plugging her phone into its charger, Maura turned on her curling iron and hopped into her shower.

When she got out, she quickly dried off and put on her robe. Approaching her mirror, Maura could see the dark circles under her own eyes, and the worry lines beginning to form on her forehead. Shaking her head, she began her rigorous beauty regimen.

Next she went to her closet and picked out a colorful Cassandra Strickenburg skirt as a base for her outfit. Selecting the appropriate top and jacket, she finished off the outfit with a pair of Louboutins, before grabbing her phone, keys and bag, and heading out to her car.

* * *

Usually, anyone who called Jane Rizzoli before seven in the morning, for anything short of a violent homicide, got their ass handed to them over the phone. But Maura was different, and she fell into a special category, one that had visions of mornings with Maura dancing through Jane's mind.

Shaking the sleep from her brain, Jane set about getting ready. Emerging forty minutes later, she grabbed the tools of her trade, and clipped them onto her waistband. Grabbing her cell, she locked her apartment and went cheerily to the curb.

Sitting on her stoop, Jane checked her phone messages. There was one from Casey that wished her good luck and restated his love for her. Swallowing her guilt, she decided to ignore the message for a few hours. The next was from Angela asking about Sunday dinner at Maura's. Jane couldn't believe how much of an integral part of her life Maura already was.

Lost in her thoughts, Jane didn't notice the Prius pull up, or the doctor get out of her car.

"Jane, is everything okay," Maura questioned, observing the blank stare in the detective's eyes. Not receiving a response, the doctor leaned in closer and snapped her fingers in front of Jane's face.

Jane shot up like a bolt, placing a ready hand on her gun. Gathering her bearings, Jane relaxed slightly under the inquisitive gaze of the medical examiner.

Playing off her comatose behavior, Jane smirked at Maura. "So about that coffee stop?"

Sighing, Maura allowed herself to straighten up, brushing the imaginary dirt from her skirt. She decided to let this one go.

"After all, its not my place," Maura muttered under her breath, but the detective was already in the passenger side. Buckling herself into the driver's side, Maura turned on the car and headed down the street. It was almost perfect until the two ladies' phone began ringing simultaneously.

"Rizzoli."

"Dr. Isles."


	4. Come One Come All

A/N: Hey there, sorry for the delay. Enjoy...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**Come One Come All - All Time Low**

"_You'd tell me if you were a cyborg right?"_

When the crime solving duo got to the scene, the party was already in full swing. First responders were positioned around the perimeter of the area, and CSRU was already taking photos of the scene. Jane quickly found Korsak and Frost standing a few away from the body. Seeing that Jane and Maura had arrived, Frost quickly took his leave, and went to go interview the first responders.

"It's a bad one Janie," Korsak warned, a grim look plastered on his usually stoic face. Before she could inquire further, she heard a sharp gasp from beside the body, and then a muffled sob.

Jane whipped around to find Maura standing by the body, tears streaming down her face, hand covering her mouth. Like a shot, she was by the doctor's side, shielding her from the body.

Gathering herself, Maura pushed away from Jane. "I'm fine Detective. I just didn't sleep well last night and was not expecting this. It won't happen again."

Maura quickly squatted down by the body, and bent over her trying to shield the hives. The victim was a young woman with curly brown hair and lifeless brown eyes. Her features were distinctly Italian and her bone structure was lean and athletic. She looked too much like Jane for Maura's liking. However, the thing sent her over the edge as the presence of two holes in the middle of the victim's hand. Unconsciously, the doctor's eyes flashed to the victim's neck and she bit back a gasp. Right under her jawline was a small gash.

Feeling the victim's skin, Maura noted the bloodstain on the victim's right side. Steeling her mask, Maura called the two detectives over.

"You got a TOD for us Doc?" Korsak questioned carefully.

"Body temp suggests the victim died about three to eight hours ago. You'll have to wait until I get her back to the morgue before I can give you a definite cause of death. However I doubt the… wounds were conducive to her rapid recovery. I'm ruling it a homicide," Maura stumbles out. Jane looked at her closely then bent down to get a closer look at the body.

Korsak and Maura watched as the homicide detective paled at the sight of her doppelganger. Rubbing her hands, Jane stands up swiftly. "Will you two excuse me?"

Not waiting for a response, Jane went to canvas he rest of the area.

"Vince, she wasn't killed here, there's not enough blood for that," Maura stated wanting to get out of the area as soon as possible.

"I know Doc. How are you holding up? Do you want to call someone else in?"

"No detective, if this is a direct threat towards Jane I should do the autopsy. Another ME would not be able to assess the level of knowledge the killer had of Jane's previous injuries."

Sighing, Maura signaled to two of the techs to wrap up the body and send it to the morgue. Then she went off to find Jane.

It didn't take long to spot the brunette detective. She was sitting on a rock, slightly off of a worn hiking trail.

"Jane…"

"I'm fine Maura. I see why you reacted like you did. The resemblance is a bit jarring. He can't be back."

"He's not," Maura answered, laying a comforting hand on the detective's shoulder. "I don't like Hoyt or anyone he trained is involved."

"Then why is she cut up like that?"

Forgetting about her expensive skirt, Maura sat down beside the detective. "While I don't believe Charles Hoyt had anything to do with this, there is no doubt in my mind that whomever killed this woman is after you."

"Gee thanks Maur, got any puppies you want to kick while you're at it?"

Deciding to leave Jane alone with her thoughts, Maura stood up. "I have to go perform an autopsy. You are welcome to observe, but I understand if you do not wish to."

Turning on her heel, Maura made it to the beginning of the trail before breaking into sobs. She felt a pair of lean arms encircle her body, support the trembling ME. The low alto of her best friend comforted her almost instantly. "Let's go Maura. The sooner we find this psycho, the sooner I'll sleep easily."

Leaving the scene, Jane kept her arm around the doctor. The ride back to headquarters was unnaturally silent. Parking the Prius, Jane and Maura were greeted at the door by Cavanaugh.

"Rizzoli. My office. Now."

Squeezing the doctor in an awkward side hug, Jane whispered into her ear. "Go start without me, I'll be down there soon."

* * *

Maura started the autopsy while ignoring the urge to vomit. Each of Jane's scars was exactly where they were on the original. In the inside pocket of her jacket is where Maura found her first clue. Inside the zippered pocket was a small square of white paper.

_Now Now Maura, did you really think this was all about Jane Rizzoli? Did you think you could get away from me? No, I find you much more interesting. Please Doctor Isles, before you tell our dear Detective Rizzoli, remember that she would sooner die than have you in danger? And knowing her track record, it's likely she will if she were to find out about this. Remember Poor Jennifer. As long as we're clear._

_~ Your Own Earl H. Choyts_

Maura gasped as she dropped the letter. He couldn't be back. Not now. Against her better logic, a part of her feared for the safety of the dark-haired detective. Placing the note in an evidence bag, Maura made a quick call.

Within a half hour, the doctor was on the road to the FBI headquarters in Boston, evidence bag in hand. The swirling guilt and hives would just have to wait.

"_No, I don't think I would."_


	5. Its My Life

AN: Well howdy there. This chapter explains a few things, but it leaves more questions unanswered... I may decide they shall never be answered, but most likely any questions will be answered. I've already written the next three chapters but I've resolved to hold back on them for a bit. Mind you, it may get rough for some for a bit, but we'll manage.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**It's My Life – Bon Jovi**

"_I've been a cop a long time. I know when people aren't telling me the whole story."_

The FBI headquarters was in itself a grand building. A perfect example of classic architecture with a classy and subtle contemporary touch. Walking into the building filled Maura with a sense of dread. She was betraying Jane, but the BPD couldn't protect Jane's records, and the killer knew about her feelings for Jane, even if the detective didn't.

"Doctor Isles, what brings you to the FBI," Agent Dean questioned seeing the doctor in the lobby.

"There is a serial killer targeting me," Maura blurted out. "And I know who it is. Well not so much a name or a face, but it's the same man."

"Whoa slow down Doc," Dean said, scared at the fear in her eyes. "Let's take this somewhere more private."

Following him, Maura genuinely feared for the safety of her adopted family, the Rizzoli's. She felt the walls closing in on her as she flashed back to her time in San Francisco. Jennifer Romano was a dear friend of hers, one of the few people who didn't tease her for being weird. They were young and blissfully happy, until the mystery man appeared. People who looked like Jen started appearing on her table, with notes specifically for Doctor Isles. When she told Jen, the detective got a funny look on her face, and then went into work.

That was the last time she saw Jennifer, until she showed up on her table a few days later. She had been brutally tortured and had visible signs of repeated sexual assault. The worst part was the note that was attached.

_Too bad you told your lover. You know I don't like to share._

_-Your Own Edgar Stalwart_

Gerald Stewart had been Jen's Hoyt. He raped and tortured her before he escaped and left her partner to find her. When then found her three days later, she was still huddled in the corner where he left her. She was pale from the blood loss and fear.

It had taken months before she could pass a psych evaluation. She dedicated her life to finding Stewart, and when she did, he tried to break her again and she shot him. Jen was just starting to get better when Edgar Stalwart appeared.

Dean broke her from her ponderings, "Doctor Isles, why do you believe a serial killer is after you?"

Maura sighed then looked at Dean, "Gabriel, I don't believe in irrational fears. I know this man is after me because he's tried before. At my old job, in California. You might want to take notes, this may be important."

By the time she was done, Dean sat with his notepad in front of him, completely flabbergasted. Setting his pen down, he looked Maura right in her eyes.

"We're putting you in protective custody until we can find this man."

Maura bent her head down and let a tear escape. If she ever got out of this, Jane would never forgive her. "Do what you have to."

"Give me your keys," Dean said holding his hand out. Silently, the medical examiner handed over her keys and phone. "I'm going to pass you onto the Marshals, they'll take it from here." Signaling to the two men standing outside, Maura stood up silently and allowed them to take her away. Away from Jane, away from Boston, and away from the only home she'd ever known.

* * *

"Maur? Maura are you here," an agitated Jane Rizzoli questioned as she stepped into the morgue hours later. The silence made Jane nervous. "Maura?"

"She's not here Detective," Senior Criminalist Chang called out from behind the startled detective. "She left hours ago, after she called Pike in to do the autopsy."

Glancing at her watch, Jane pulled out her cell phone. Speed dialing her mother, Jane exhaled at her mother's voice.

"Jane, what's wrong?"

"Is Maura with you?"

"No, I haven't heard from her in hours. She's not home."

Jane felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I've got to make some calls."

Hanging up on her mother, Jane called the medical examiner six times without receiving a response. Reaching the bullpen, Jane's worry startled the other detectives. "Frost put out an APB on Maura, and a BOLO on her car."

"Is the Doc missing?"

"I've just got a bad feeling about this."

Frost set to work on the forms. Simultaneously all three of their phones rang. They grabbed their gear and headed out, vowing to stop for coffee on the way. It was going to be a long night.

When they got to the scene, the first responder told them about the car that just exploded. There was a body inside, but it was too burned to identify. Just as they were about to enter the scene, one of the techs approached them with the license plate. It had blown off of the car during the explosion.

"Frost run those plates for me."

"I don't have to, Jane. Look."

Reading the plate number, Jane turned back to the first responder. "There was a body inside, by the looks of her license she was about thirty eight, had blonde hair, and lived in Beacon Hill."

"What type or car was it," Jane asked, afraid of the rookie's response.

"A Prius ma'am."

That was all she heard. The last thing she recognized was the splattering of her coffee on the ground, before the world went dark.


	6. Shattered

AN: Hey there my wonderful readers. I'm posting this a day early because one of you PM'd me and asked very nicely. I will probably still post the next chapter tomorrow. Otherwise, I am sticking to my original schedule, posted on my profile. Warning, this chapter may seem slightly out of character, but never fear, Jane in all her glory will be back in the next chapter.

Remember the song titles, they'll come in handy later.

Disclaimer: All I own is my computer and my overpriced education. Everything else belongs to their respective owners.

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**Shattered – Trading Yesterday**

"_You stayed with her."_

"Janie? Janie? Jane?"

Detective Jane Rizzoli woke to the sound of beeping. Assessing her surroundings, she turned to the older man in the chair next to her.

"Vince, why am I in the hospital," Jane questioned the grave looking man.

"What do you remember about before you passed out," Korsak questioned carefully.

"I went down to the morgue… Maura wasn't there and she called Pike to finish the autopsy… Frost was running a BOLO on her car, and we got a call," Jane paled as the next moments of her memories flashed in her head. "Oh god, Vince."

"Jane I'm sorry," Vince said as he watched the detective fall apart. Even after Hoyt, he had never seen her this shattered. A realization dawned on him, "You really cared for her."

Jane looked up through tear-stained eyes, "It doesn't matter anymore. I should call Casey, see how he's doing."

Hearing her dismissal, Vince stood up and glanced sorrowfully at the detective. "It always matters."

Watching her old partner leave, Jane felt the last of her resolve weakening. In the darkness of her room, she let herself fall apart.

Hours later, she woke up again to the sound of beeping monitors.

"Jane, sweetie, are you okay," her mother questioned from beside her. "Did you and Maura have another falling out? I haven't seen her all day."

Jane felt the tears welling up again, and forced them down. "Maura's dead Ma. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find a doctor so I can get out of here."

Standing from her hospital bed, Angela was scared to see the dark look on her eldest child's face. "Where are you going?"

Jane smiled darkly, "Work. I have a murderer to catch."

* * *

The precinct was empty until Jane got to the homicide floor. Stepping off of the elevator, Jane was surprised to see half of the homicide division working in the bullpen. The chatter ceased instantly when Jane walked in. Everyone stared at the detective as she went to her desk.

Frost was the first person to break from the freeze. "The other half of homicide and every available drug cop is on the street looking for information. Martinez sends his condolences."

Grabbing her gun from her desk, she checked the bullet count. "Well why are you standing around?"

Springing to life, the other cops dove back into their work with new vigor.

"Rizzoli," Cavanaugh called from his office. Holstering her gun, Jane walked into the lieutenant's office.

"Yes sir."

"I need you to go over to Doctor Isles' home and help CSRU," Cavanaugh said watching the dark look on Jane's face. "You're lead on this case, the guys have already voted. It was unanimous. We have every available beat and most of DCU, in addition to homicide. Now go."

"Thank you sir," Jane stood and walked out of the office. Grabbing the keys from her desk, she nodded at Korsak to run things in her absence. Then she went to the elevator, and of to Maura's home.

* * *

The Beacon Hill estate looked empty and lifeless when Jane arrived. CSRU was waiting patiently outside, led by a grim looking Susie Chang.

"Whenever you're ready Susie," Jane stated, looking sympathetically at the senior criminalist. Upon seeing her nod, Jane pulled out her key, and unlocked the door. "This is your show guys, I'll be floating around. Don't mind me."

With inhuman precision, the Crime Scene Response Unit broke apart and began their search. Jane wandered around she found herself in front of Maura's room. The bed looked like it hadn't been slept in for a few days. Walking into her closet, Jane almost lost it. Everything was perfectly organized.

Scanning the closet, Jane noticed that one article of clothing was slightly ajar. Pulling out a pajama shirt, Jane shook the wrinkles out and watched a folded piece of paper drop to the floor. Folding the shirt with mathematical precision, Jane replaced it on the shelf. Picking up the paper, Jane unfolded the list and was greeted by Maura's impeccable handwriting.

**1. Jane is straight and in love with Casey.**

**2. Even if by some miracle she wasn't, Raphael would be more than happy to take his place.**

**3. I only seem to attract serial killers, assholes, and con men.**

**4. The only time I feel remotely safe is when I'm with Jane.**

**5. One day, Jane will leave me too.**

**6. I hate Casey and Martinez with a burning passion.**

**7. Jane is the only stable relationship I've ever had.**

**8. Jane deserves happiness.**

**9. She can't be happy with me, and I can't be happy without her.**

**10. I'm in love with Jane, and I'm going to die alone.**

Folding the list up into its previous square, Jane felt tears threatening to fall again. Maura died without ever knowing about Jane's feelings. Striding out of the house, Jane slammed her car door and drove off into the night.

"_I wouldn't leave her."_

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Let me know, what you think. Oh, and feel free to PM me if you have a question, comment or concern. I respond within 24 hours.

~Angel


	7. Swing Life Away

AN: Hello again. This chapter might answer a few questions but its more likely to leave a lot of questions unanswered, while still adding more. (I hope that sentence made sense.) In any case, this story will not be updated until next week. All the best, and Allons-y.

Hint: Song Titles

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the thoughts in my head and the song in my heart. Everything else belongs to the owners.

* * *

**Swing Life Away - Rise Against**

"_Whatever you need I can get it."_

Hours later, Jane Rizzoli strode back into the precinct with a determined frown set on her face. Hearing her boots on the linoleum, nearby cops scattered like ants. Nothing was more terrifying than an armed, pissed Jane Rizzoli.

"Frost, what do we have," Jane yelled walking swiftly into the bullpen. When the man didn't immediately respond, she whipped around, fury in her glare. "Frost I asked you a question."

"Jane, we don't have anything," Korsak intervened, saving the younger detective from the Italian's wrath.

"Vince. We have half of the precinct working on this, how can we have nothing?" Jane growled at her former partner. The sadness she felt was quickly dissolving into a blind rage. Seeing the guilty look on her partner's face, Jane felt an overwhelming sense of dread. "Frost, Vince, what aren't you two telling me?" At their further silence, Jane looked at the hopelessness reflect on both men. A wave of realization rushed over her. "Who's doing the autopsy?"

"Pike," Frost answered through gritted teeth.

Jane held onto her desk for support. On top of her entire world crashing around her, now Dr. Pike was doing Maura's autopsy. "Absolutely not. I could do it better than him. Find someone else."

"Its not up to us, Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said from the doorway. "It's the Governor's decision."

"Then get him on the phone and ask him nicely to pick someone capable of doing an autopsy," Jane snapped. "What about that doctor with the cowboy hat from Doctor Isles Bullet and Blast Seminar. Doctor… Doctor Higgins. Ask about him."

"Rizzoli, it has to be Pike. The Governor decided," Cavanaugh sighed.

"Then I'll talk to the governor," Jane growled. She grabbed her jacket from her desk and left the precinct. "Maybe he can get something done."

"Riz…"

"Let her go Sean," Korsak said, not looking up from his file.

"Vince, I can't just let her go put a gun to the head of our governor and threaten to blow his brains out just so he'll change the medical examiner."

Staring at Cavanaugh over the rim of his glasses, Korsak sighed. "Then fix it Sean, call in a favor with the governor. Jane is in a difficult place right now. You should know the place she's in quite well."

Cavanaugh narrowed his glare. "That was low Vince."

Putting down his case file, Korsak slammed his hands on the desk. "Dammit Sean, so was sitting by and letting the governor assign Pike to this case. This one's to important to have that pompous idiot mess it up."

"Fine. For the Doc," Cavanaugh conceded. "But call Jane off before she shoots someone."

"Will do Sean," Korsak said. "Thank you."

* * *

"Is she armed?"

"Doctor Isles wouldn't need a weapon to kill you, if you upset her that much, she'd probably dissect you."

The mention of her name shook Maura into awareness. While she could hear, she was well aware of her disoriented state. Gathering her bearings, her movements drew the attention of the marshals she was with.

"Doctor Isles, you're awake."

"Yes I am, however in reference to previous statement, I would not dissect you without the proper equipment, nor would I wish to. Now what happened?"

The marshals looked warily at each other before the younger one turned to Maura. "Your car has been, well, blown up. BPD is on it, but the marshal driving it is now deceased."

Maura noticed the older marshal stiffen at that fact, then retreat under the mask of his professionalism. "Marshal…?"

The young marshal smiled at the doctor, "Marshal Alexi Glasgow, and the sour puss over there is Marshal Jonathon Williams. Don't worry, he's like that with everyone."

"I'm still here," the elder marshal stated with contempt. "I'll go check the perimeter."

Without confirmation, Marshal Williams stormed out of the room. Marshal Glasgow smiled warmly at Maura. "He'll warm up to you eventually, it's just that the marshal who died was his a friend of his. He's a bit shook up."

Maura had remained silent until that point. With a haunted look on her face she turned to the marshal. "Marshal Glasgow, when you say BPD is working the case, do you happen to know which team?"

The marshal sat up for a moment. That was the first time she had gotten that as a first question. "BPD Homicide, I got an email with the lead detective's name, hold on." Alexi pulled her phone from her belt holster. "Here it is, Detective Jane Rizzoli."

The color drained from Maura's face. Gripping the armrest of her chair, the medical examiner began hyperventilating. "She… She thinks I'm dead."

"Maura," Alexi said, rushing to her side. "Maura, its okay. Are you friends with her?"

A sorrow filled sadness swept over the medical examiner's features. "Yes. She's my best friend."

"Then don't worry, she'll forgive you for this," Alexi stated, trying to calm the distraught medical examiner. "Detective Rizzoli will be fine."

Mumbling under her breath, Maura let a few tears escape. "Of course Detective Rizzoli will be fine. She'll be extraordinary."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Maura inhaled a shaky breath. Without another word, she stood and walked out of the room into the bedroom of the motel she was in. For once, not caring about the state of her clothes, Maura curled up on the bed falling into a deep fitful slumber.


	8. Consider Me Gone

AN: Hello there my lovelies. I apologize for last week unexpected absence. I was on vacation. Never fear, I'm back until Thanksgiving, and I've missed you all. Anywho, back to this chapter. This one is a bit longer than the others, and I've introduced our favorite emotionally abusive boyfriend. Worry not, I am choosing to do what TNT thinks needs to be put off until the winter (Speaking of which, last night's episode... "Really?"). I might post the next chapter this Friday to make up for my extended absence... Yahtzee.

About the song choice, wait until Casey appears to apply it to the chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Consider Me Gone – Reba McEntire

"_Why are you doing this?"_

Jane paced in the governor's lobby, her hand rested tensely on the holster of her firearm. She had already decided that she would rather be executed for assassinating a state official than let Dr. Pike perform Maura's autopsy.

"Detective," the governor's secretary said quietly. "The governor will see you now."

Letting a mask of anger fall on her face, Jane Rizzoli entered his office. Of all the things she expected to see, this was not one of them.

"Detective Rizzoli," the governor said, hands held up in surrender. "Before you start, or shoot me, I just want you to know, I 've realized my mistake in calling in Dr. Pike. Dr. Higgins will be performing the autopsy tomorrow afternoon. Dr. Pike has been sent home."

Jane stood stunned for a moment, and then withdrew her hand from her gun. "Thank you governor. I apologize for my behavior, I just felt very strongly about the issue."

The governor lowered his hands, and smiled warmly at the detective. "Jane, may I call you Jane? I have spent a lot of time, at a lot of different fundraisers. It was not uncommon for me to run into Doctor Isles. She was a dear friend of mine, and whenever she spoke about her work, she often spoke about you."

Jane felt the tears returning. She stifled them when a hard blink and returned her gaze to the governor. She knew what he was saying, and what he didn't need to say. "Thank you governor, I appreciate your reconsideration."

Before she could make a clean getaway, the governor placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for your loss. She loved you too."

Choking back a sob, the great Detective Rizzoli retreated to her car. Letting her tears fall freely, she failed to notice her phone going off as she sped back to the precinct.

* * *

Maura wandered to the motel balcony and stepped out into the crisp Worcester air. Sitting down in the plastic lawn chair Maura looked out over the horizon as the starting rays of sunlight came up from the East.

"Mind if I join you," Jonathan Williams asked Maura softly. The medical examiner nodded politely as the older man sat in the chair opposite her.

"If you don't mind," Maura started softly. Shaking her head, Maura tried again. "Marshal Williams. I'm sorry for your loss, who was she?"

"Call me Jon. And she was my old partner's daughter. Jefferson was the man who taught me how to be a marshal. When he retired, and she joined the service, I promised him I'd look out for her."

"You couldn't have known," Maura protested, watching the solemn look on the man's face.

"I know," Jon said. "However it still hurts. I was supposed to protect her, and I couldn't. I don't blame anyone but myself and the bastard that blew her up."

"Jon, you can't do that to yourself. You'll drive yourself mad."

"Maura, don't worry about me. I'll be okay," Jon insisted. "How are you coping?"

Giving him a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, Maura looked up. "Quite well, Jon, if you'll excuse me."

Abruptly Maura stood and promptly fainted.

* * *

"Jane!"

Whipping around, Jane Rizzoli stared in shock as her boyfriend crossed the precinct. "Casey now's not a really good time. Can we talk later?"

Stunned at her abrupt dismissal, Casey grabbed her wrist. "Jane, this really can't wait."

Sighing, Jane beckoned him to follow her. She located an empty conference room, and sat on the edge of the table. "Casey, make it quick, I have a homicide to solve."

"Jane I love you, and I know I just got back, but I've been promoted. I'm a colonel, and I'm right where I thought I wanted to be."

"And where's that?"

"In line to become a general. I have a decision to make. Either I go back to Afghanistan, or…"

Jane arched an eyebrow in his direction, "Or I stay here in Boston, and you marry me."

Jane stared incredulously at the man in front of her. "Are you proposing to me?"

Taking her skepticism as excitement, Casey knelt down and pulled out a glittering diamond ring. "Jane, will you marry me?"

Pushing off from the table, Jane had to clench her fist to avoid hitting him. "Casey. My best friend is dead. I have a murder victim who could be my twin. And now my boyfriend is threatening to go back to a war zone he almost died in unless I marry him," pausing for a breath, Jane hardened her glare. "Casey, we're done. I cannot do whatever this is anymore. You can find your own way out."

Storming into the bullpen with Casey hot on her heels, Jane ignored him and turned to Frost. "What do we have?"

Frost sighed, ignoring the military man trying to capture Jane's attention. "We still have nothing on Maura's case, but we might have something on the woman in the park."

"Well, I take any information at this point."

"There was a string of murders in San Francisco a while back. The perp killed a bunch of women who looked like this cop, and cut them so they had the same scars."

"How are they related?"

"Did… Doctor Isles ever mention a Jennifer Romano?"

The blood drained from Jane's face as memories began rushing back. "Not directly, but whatever happened to Jennifer messed her up."

"Jennifer was killed by a copycat. She was captured by this serial killer and after a long process, ended up shooting him. His name was Gerald Stewart."

The homicide unit went silent at the mention of the serial killer's name. Gerald Stewart was one of the most infamous serial killers in modern law enforcement. Jane finally broke the silence. "Go on Frost. What about the copycat?"

"Well he wasn't a copycat in the strictest sense of the word. He targeted women who looked like Detective Romano and left them with little notes signed with an anagram of Gerald Stewart. The only difference is, he wasn't targeting the detective directly. According to the report, he was targeting… Doctor Isles?"

Frost sat back in shock. He hadn't pieced that together until he read it out loud.

Jane allowed a slow smile to grace her features. "So what you meant to say was 'Jane we have a lead on both cases, and I think they might be connected."

Casey took this opportunity to remind her of his presence. "Jane I…"

Whipping around faster than a tornado, Jane glared at him with fire in her eyes. "Casey. Leave. Now. I have work to do."

Defeated Casey hung his head and retreated from the bullpen.

Jane went to work with the first genuine smile since Maura's disappearance.

"_Because I have your back."_

* * *

PS: Reviews and PM's might convince me to post again on Friday... Just as a hint...

~Angel


	9. All Too Well

AN: I promised a Friday update, and I've delivered. Thanks to a certain Southern please, there will be another update on Sunday. Prepare yourselves, there is a Rizzles reunion on the horizon. But not today. All my best and Allons-y.

Song Titles are fun things to remember.

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

* * *

**All Too Well – Taylor Swift**

"_That's need to know."_

After four straight days of searching, the team still had no leads to go on. The responsibility of listening to Maura's unfinished autopsy report fell to Jane, but there was no information to be taken from that. All that could be found was the fact that Maura left abruptly of what seemed to be her own volition.

"Rizzoli," Cavanaugh yelled from the doorway. "What the hell? I gave you a direct order. Go home and get some sleep, you're no good to her half dead."

Jane winced and grabbed her coat. The little Maura inside her head was screaming her for letting the case consume her so much, that she forgot to eat or sleep. Wordlessly she left for the evening.

However, returning to the precinct early the next morning, Jane could tell that something was off. Cavanaugh was shouting curses in his office with the blinds down, and Frost and Korsak looked murderous. Seeing Jane, their faces paled.

"What happened," Jane asked, worried at the terror in their eyes.

Frost and Korsak looked at each other nervously. Korsak broke the silence. "Janie, the feds are taking over this investigation. They won't say why."

A familiar voice broke through from the doorway. "Professor Isles called in a favor with the DOJ," Agent Dean said tensely, as he watched Jane's eyes reflect the pain, rage and turmoil in her head. "I sorry Jane, I advised them against this, but there was nothing I could do. Grant and I are working it by request. I didn't think you would have wanted anyone else on it."

Jane picked her badge off of her belt, "Thank you Dean, if it couldn't be me, at least they have people I trust. I'll see you later."

Turning on her heel, she marched into Cavanaugh's office.

* * *

"Maura?"

The medical examiner turned around, heartbreak gracing her features. "How can I help you Alexi?"

"Maura, why are you so unhappy," Alexi asked, fully aware of the answer.

Maura turned to look at the marshal. Red-rimmed eyes and gaunt features disrupted her usually immaculate appearance. Mustering a professional smile, Maura met the marshal's gaze, "Alexi, don't worry. I'm just a bit homesick."

Alexi shook her head, "Maura can I be blunt?"

Hesitating, Maura nodded. Alexi took a deep breath and continued, "Maura, you're not homesick, you're lovesick. You fell in love with someone that you had to leave behind. My bet is on that detective who is leading your investigation." Sgihing at the pained expression, Alexi continued. "Look, I know its hard, but both of you are safer if you're here. Try to understand."

Maura looked blankly at the marshal, "I understand that marshal. All of it. But please don't speculate on things you know nothing about. This is more complicated than you believe. So if you don't mind, I would like to be alone for a while. Good day."

Turning to face the window, Maura held back the tears in her eyes. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Maura, I know more about this kind of thing than you think. And I'm sorry your detective doesn't know how you feel. She doesn't know what she's missing."

"And she probably never will," Maura said fighting the urge to cry. Staring out into the distance, the medical drifted back into her thoughts.

* * *

Cavanaugh was screaming at Joey Grant in his office when Jane walked in unannounced.

"Rizzoli," both men asked, questioningly.

"Hello Grant," Jane said greeting her childhood tormentor. Turning to her boss, she placed her badge and her gun on his desk. "Cavanaugh, the feds are taking Maura's case. Just let it go, these are good people, they'll get the job done."

Grant smiled, "Thanks for the compliment Rizzoli."

Jane glared at his smug expression, "Thank wasn't a compliment. You'll get the job done because if you don't, I will take every ounce of training and every experience I've had, and I will rain hell down upon both of you. You mess this up, and I will make you beg for death. Keep that in mind and go do your fucking job, since apparently, I can't do mine."

Bolting out of the room, Grant grabbed Dean from the bullpen and ran to the stairs.

Turning back to her boss, Jane continued. "Lieu, I'm going to take a few day. You probably don't want me on the doppelgänger case, so I'm just going to go home and get some rest."

"Rizzoli, of course you can take the time, but why are you giving me your badge and gun?"

Jane smiled sadly, "So I don't do something stupid. See you in a few days."

With that, Jane walked out of Cavanaugh's office and out of the precinct.

"_Seriously? You fed guys actually say that?"_


	10. Beam Me Up

AN: Hey guys. Here it is as promised. Hope you enjoy it. And celebrate because this is the first story I've written 10 chapters for.

The playlist for this story is on 8tracks. The link is on my profile.

Disclaimer, I own nothing.

* * *

**Beam Me Up – P!nk**

"_You should go home. I'll be fine."_

Jane walked into her apartment, and really looked at it for the first time in days. There was a slight coat of dust covering her appliances and furniture. There were no dishes in the sink, but her laundry was piled high. With all of the drama in the previous week, she had completely forgotten about it. Sighing, she opened her fridge and grabbed a beer.

"You aren't going to just leave that there, are you?"

Jane shot off the couch like she'd been electrocuted. "Maura," she asked with hope in her voice.

The woman in the corner shook her head sadly, "Sorry Jane, I'm not Maura. I'm just a hallucination your unconscious mind has developed to help you handle the grief. Now about your laundry."

Jane raised an eyebrow, "Why should I listen to you?"

The hallucination crossed her arms across her chest, "Jane Rizzoli, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way."

Holding her hands up in defeat, Jane conceded. "Alright, fine."

The days that followed were similar. Every morning Jane would get up after a fitful sleep and her Maura hallucination would be there. It reminded her to eat, sleep, work out and keep her apartment clean. In exchange for keeping her hallucination happy, Jane got to spend time with it. She talked for hours on end to her imaginary Maura, joking and laughing with her. The hallucination looked, acted and thought like Maura, the only problem was, that it wasn't Maura.

After about two weeks of talking to her imaginary Maura, Jane was convinced she had gone crazy, and she couldn't take it anymore. "Maura, you need to go."

The hallucination stared at her with Maura's wide innocent eyes. "What's wrong Jane."

Jane sighed, "You're not her. And she's dead. I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

Jane snapped, "I can't pretend she's going to come back. And this isn't helping anymore. Just go."

Jane turned to the chair where her hallucination was sitting, only to find her gone. Sinking to the floor, Jane rocked herself as she cried.

* * *

Maura knew something was wrong when she saw Jonathan's reaction to his caller id. Quietly she slipped within earshot.

"Hey there Seany-boy how can I help you," Maura watched as deeper frown set into his features.

"You know I can't tell you that," the frown turned pained as the person on the other end spoke.

"I'm sorry about your detective, I know she's one of your best," there was a pause. "Well if she's not answering her phone send someone over there."

Jonathan barked out a laugh. "Barricaded her door? Hell that sounds like something Rizzoli would do." Maura bit back a gasp. Jane wasn't at work, and she had barricaded her door.

"I'm sorry her mother is bugging you, but if I had that sort of information, you would be fully aware that I would not be able to disclose it to you."

The room was quiet for a moment, before Jonathan tensed, "You think she's going to eat her gun. Sean I'm sorry but…"

Maura had heard enough. Striding from her hiding place, the medical examiner held out her hand, a fire in her eyes the marshal didn't dare question. Wordlessly, Jonathan handed over his cell phone.

"Jon what's going on," Cavanaugh asked from the other end.

Maura took a breath, "Lieutenant, listen very carefully to the words I am about to say."

"Doctor Isles? Oh thank god," Cavanaugh could have cried with relief.

"Don't thank god, just listen. You are to do everything in your power to stop Jane from doing something drastic. Send Frankie over to her place to stall her until this evening. I should be there by then," Jonathan looked like he was about to speak, but Maura shot him a glare that could have frozen hell over, and he stayed silent.

"One more thing Doc, the FBI took your case but not before we found out about San Francisco. I'm sorry for your loss and I understand why you left," Cavanaugh said, informing the doctor of their current state of information. "Frost and Korsak will understand too."

"Its not them I'm worried about, its Jane," Maura admitted. "She's going to hate me."

Cavanaugh laughed, "I don't think Rizzoli could hate you. She almost held a gun to the governor's head because he assigned Pike to do your autopsy. Speaking of which, who was in your car?"

Jonathan flinched and reached for the phone putting it on speaker. "Jefferson's girl."

Cavanaugh was quiet for a minute. "I'm sorry Jon. I didn't know."

"Its okay Sean, if Maura's going back, I can finally tell him instead of ignoring his calls. The only thing worse than losing a loved one, is not knowing if they're alive or dead."

"Thanks Jon, and doc, thank you."

Maura sighed, "Don't thank me yet. Just call Frankie."

* * *

"Come on Janie, let me in," Frankie begged. "Cavanaugh said he'll get the brass to demote or fire me if I don't make sure you're okay. Please, I don't want to lose my job."

There was silence on the other side of the door. "Janie please. I brought beer."

"Well that's more like it," Jane asked from behind him, startling the young detective. One hand was on her hip; the other was wrapped tightly around Jo's leash. She looked like she hadn't eaten or slept in a week.

"Janie, you look terrible," Frankie said, overjoyed to see his sister outside of her apartment.

"Keep up that attitude, and I'll take your beers and leave you outside," Jane snapped, fully aware of her appearance.

Opening the door, she took Jo off her leash and let Frankie in her door. She left it open in case she needed to force him out of it. He took a seat on her couch and took a beer before handing one to her. Turning on a game they sat in relative silence. Finally Frankie spoke.

"Cavanaugh thought you were going to do something real bad."

Jane sighed, "I almost did. But then I thought 'Maura would have hated me if I did this.' And I found I couldn't disappoint her like that."

A voice from the doorframe interrupted Frankie's response, "Well thank god for that."

Jane and Frankie whipped around, shock in their eyes. "Maura?"

"_No, I'm used to being alone. Please. I'll be okay."_

* * *

Please PM or Review, good or bad. I get nervous if I don't hear anything.

~Angel


	11. Catch Me

AN: This is it, the tearful, fluffy reunion of our two lovely ladies. Rizzles forever. Aren't we glad Maura's back? Or are we? This story is far from over. This is actually the first chapter I've felt a slight bout of trepidation while posting. Its a relatively emotional one, and I promise the plot will return next chapter, so hang in there... Please...

Playlist on 8tracks

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

**Catch Me – Demi Lovato**

"_Don't mess with my family."_

"Maura," Jane asked, trying to beat down the hope in her voice.

"Hello Jane," Maura said, smiling warmly. Jane felt her eyes watering as she sat back in her couch. She blinked a few times just to make sure that this was the real Maura.

Frankie however was ready to pull his gun, "What the hell Maura, do you have any idea what you've put us through, what you've put Jane through. Just because you needed some sort of isolated vacation. Of all the selfish, irresponsible…"

"That's enough Frankie," Jane snapped, interrupting him. She watched the hurt poison Maura's features. "Maura had a good reason to leave," Jane turned back to face the medical examiner. "Right," she almost pleaded.

But Maura was shaking, silently sobbing as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I… I should… I should have… should have called… called when I… when I knew you… you thought I was dead… I… I thought… though you'd… you'd get over… get over it…"

Jane crossed the room and gathered the medical examiner into her arms, sighing as the very real doctor shook into her chest. "I never would have gotten over it. I would have hunted down your killer and I would have ended him. And then I would have spent every day of my life trying to find a way back to you."

Maura looked up into Jane's pained eyes. "I thought that…"

"You were going to die alone," Jane questioned. Maura paled. "Not on my watch Maur."

Maura broke away from Jane's embrace. "Jane. You should be furious with me. I let you believe I was dead, because I was scared."

Jane's expression reflected pure anguish. "Scared of me?"

"Yes. No. Yes and No," Maura struggled with an explanation. "I wasn't scared of you, I was scared for you. And I can't tell you why."

Jane broke eye contact. "I thought you could tell me anything."

Maura felt the tears welling up again. "Jane please don't push this. I just can't tell you. This was a bad idea I should just go."

Turning to walk away, Maura felt Jane's slender fingers wrap around her wrist and pull her close. Maura tried not melt into her crushing embrace.

"Maura, please don't walk away. I'm scared I won't see you again," Jane whispered into her hair. "I still love you."

Frankie had heard enough, "Jane, while I'm thrilled that Maura's not dead. Some explanation is needed. She was gone for a month."

Maura pushed away from Jane, but the detective kept a gentle hand on her arm, holding her there, anchoring her to reality. "I was in Witness Protection. A marshal died in my car. That's really all I can say."

Frankie looked unconvinced and opened his mouth to speak. Just then Angela appeared at Jane's door. "Frankie! Sean told me you'd be here; I thought you and Jane might be hungry. Hello Maura. Jane it's so good to see your face again. You look like you've gotten thinner."

Angela froze and spun around, disbelief and shock written all over her face. "Maura?"

Doctor Isles smiled warmly, "Hello Angela. How has your day been?"

Angela smiled and wrapped the petite medical examiner in a bone-crushing embrace. "My day just got a whole lot better. Where have you been for the past month?"

Frankie snarled, "She can't say."

Angela whirled on her middle son, "You watch your tone Francesco. I brought you into this world; I can take you out of it. Maura must have a very good reason for not being able to disclose everything," she turned back to Maura while still speaking to Frankie. "I'm sure she will tell us as she can." The tone of Angela's statement left no room for discussion. Maura nodded in response, too emotional to speak.

"Alright Ma," Jane finally interrupted. "You said something about food. I don't remember the last time I ate."

Maura cast a worried glance in her direction, but Jane waved her off. The newly energized Jane Rizzoli went to help her mother in the kitchen, casting smiles at Maura.

"Frankie," Maura sat on the couch next to Jane's younger brother. "Don't sugarcoat it. How bad was she? Really?"

Frankie turned to Maura, his glare softening at the anguish painted on her face. "Janie was real messed up. She was almost possessed with how hard she went at your case. Cavanaugh forced her home after four days straight without sleep. I don't think she's eaten much of anything since you disappeared. Sleeping is another thing she sacrificed. She hasn't been happy, and she barely spoke to anyone."

"I'm so sorry Frankie. I promise, if a time comes when it's safe, I'll explain everything," Maura wrung her hands. "To you and Jane."

"I'll hold you to that Maura," Frankie said, finally gathering his surrogate sister into a 'welcome back hug'.

* * *

"Naughty, naughty Doctor Isles," a cold sinister voice spoke from across the street. "You were hiding so well."

The man lowered his binoculars and smiled evilly.

"Soon Maura, you will be mine."

* * *

"Morning guys," Jane smiled as she practically skipped into the bullpen, coffees in hand.

Frost and Korsak looked skeptically at each other. Korsak finally spoke, "Janie are you feeling okay?"

"Oh sure, I'm feeling great. Say, do either of you happen to have Grant or Dean's number," Jane asked joy still evident on her features.

Before they could answer, another voice captured their attention. Heels clicking on the linoleum, Maura Isles strode confidently into the bullpen. "Jane, you forgot your blazer and you took my coffee," Maura stated noting the shocked expressions on her co-workers faces. "Hello Detective. Sargent."

Jane smiled sheepishly, "Sorry about that."

"Not a problem, besides, I have to speak with Lieutenant Cavanaugh. If you'll excuse me," squeezing Jane's arm affectionately, Maura entered the Lieutenant's office.

Jane turned back to her friends, "So, about that number?"

Frost and Korsak both stood with their mouths agape. Wordlessly, they closed them and shrugged. Frost found the number Jane was looking for, and the detective dialed the agent's phone, a stupid smile plastered on her face.

"_You do what you need to do to protect family."_

* * *

Wait a second? Who was that? That my dears, is plot. Maura's back, but so is the evil that follows her. (And you thought I forgot about him...)

Review if you liked it, or if you hated it, either way... I take PMs as well...

I'll be in the corner with my coffee maker and my computer if you need me... Or if you want to chat...

~Angel


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